lauantai 30. huhtikuuta 2016

thoughts about self-esteem in dressing

First, day is first of May- celebration! In Finland it´s called Vappu. That weather is so nice now: sun and warm. Time to let loose for a moment and enjoy. We don´t have nothing too special to eat, because yes, still on my diet.. but..don´t tell to my couch..I found chocolate cookies WITHOUT nut´s. Yes, those we have now..
I can´t remember when I have eaten chocolate cookies! First, diet, but even bigger reason: always nut´s in some form. Or, made in factory where nuts are handled. Allergic to those suckers....

But I have balloon!!! We went to store yesterday and I saw this cute red Minnie- balloon. last time, when I have had that kind of balloon was when I was a kid and my dad bought to me. After that "too old". Now, maybe I´m going back on time already and become a child again? :D Yep, thinking my birthday in this month...45years... omg.....


Me and Minnie :)

In Finnish too: Hyvää Vappua kaikki! Happy first of May all!

Then back to that subject, self- esteem and dressing up. Or wearing clothes. 


Few year ago, or should I say, all of my life, I have been a very bold dresser. I use to put such a things together that no one could ever imagine! And those actually looked good. That was in 90´s my signature and my ticket ti be VIP in night clubs. It did opened some door to other places, too. 

But I lost it. I lost that feeling, when I gained my kilos. I did.... I mean, I shoulnt but I did. Because no matter what your size is..you look awesome. But for me? It did mentally- thing:

I drew that with my phone, so...
But that was, how I saw myself. Fat balloon, and no right to dress up. 

Sad but true. And worst part was..it was in my head, I made that thought. 

I was so jealous to all fashion bloggers (sorry about that) because they looked so good in every pic. And I knew, that I had that same passion, but... I´m not worth it anyway...

Because I wasnt happy with me, I started to work about that. Loosing weight. I have to say, that I´m more me now, not yet where I want to be but in a good road to be there one day. Now it feels real already! 

I have become a bit bolder to put some of those clothes on, what I want. Still kind of shy, but hey! Getting there too one day! To me, dressing up is telling something about me. Sometimes you know, what mood I am (just sweat pants all day- cozy OR pissed off) It´s like expressing my self somehow. 

Another "mistake" I made earlier was.. I wasnt true to me. I tried to be like someone else. But fact ti...I´m gonna be that rock- chick till the day I die. Rebel, maybe. I dont like those things, where someone says: you cant use those, you so old! I really feel so in my heart. I think that I´m gonna use my leather skirt when I´m in old people´s home. 

Yesterday I put my new jeans on and also my leather jacket..witch I do love....

So..not too rocking picks, but I´m learning to know me again. This is good therapy for me, and no.. not looking to have latest look here. Just me, learning to be me again. :) 

Putting my picks here is reality for me, how I look. Step by step!


 If it shines and is silvery.... I love it. I´m magpie!!!!


 I love, that jeans has some thing...broken, 70´s..bootcut..


This is a start. :)
Be brave.

xox


Ps. ALL of my clothes here...wow...from H&M. I think that I´m a fan?? :D

torstai 28. huhtikuuta 2016

hair problem and going to win it

My problem with my hair simply this: I dont have any color in my hair. That makes a huge difference handling those. Why I dont have? Well, after long use I got allergic. Too much use in past. First I was like "ok, it dosent matter" Then, "Damn, I want color, why me????" Now...I want those to be good.

So, my hair is in way too good condition to handle. Yes, sounds so stupid. But when you have color, it gives some roughness and easier to handle.

I use beer. :D really. Sometimes, like two times a week I use it as a conditioner. It opens hair a bit and it´s a bit rough after.

But doing hairdo´s? Challenge. So light and stubborn. Trust me..I have done things, that drives my hairdresser crazy. Like cutting by my self...badly.

I took hair extension, and that was ok for a while. But for a long run... not for me. I go shower too often and need to wash my hair.

Next:


After....





So short....


Well, now:




Two weeks after hairdresser: layers layers!!!! 

My problem was/is that I dont like too...well....neat style. I feel like egghead. 

I used straightener and a bit hair powder. Straightener to add some shine, too. That´s a problem without color..lack of shine.
And I´m starting to get use to have my hair more..neat. Without feeling egghead.

But you know, without ironing and powder etc...I will look like this:


;D old one. 


But without hair color there´s limitations more. Hair structure is so soft. If you are in same boat with me, fight for your right to..well...have a great hair day..sometimes.
Also... my grey...

There those are! I´m actually waiting for those...more color ;D


xox

keskiviikko 27. huhtikuuta 2016

celebrating my womanhood

Now I have some time to really think about this subject. I really have to more sitting now, because my back is in pain. That´s a lesson for me: remember to stretch. After every workout. Not too much to ask from me...and yet, always kind of passing on that thing. Not anymore. After I can walk... au.

So, womanhood. For me, today it means different thing than earlier.

When I was young, I think that my dad wanted a son.... He taught me how to handle a gun, how to shoot and how to fix metal frames in truck. He was truck driver. I actually sat in hes truck so many years... sometimes to just keeping him awake after being up and working 3 days at same eyes. Cool? Yep, work safety was in our heart....


Me at age less than year...-71. 

I just loved to be dirty! 

As I grew up, I felt like in that pic but had to be different by look. I started to pay attention to me. Well, during 80´s that was easy. Hair blonde and as up as you can put. Broken jeans and good to go. 


Dont laugh... me as a teenager. :D Well, go ahead..laugh...that´s funny, I know. I´m in confessor camp here.


But during 90´s I had to be more. I had to be both man and woman. I had to be survivor. That was tough time for me. I did some modelling back then I looked like woman..but felt..well..tough. 


Looked like a woman, but hard as a rock. I really had to be, my whole surviving was dependent on that...actually my life was. 

Ok, forward! I travelled lot during those days, I went by myself to Bangladesh, India etc...priceless memories. And lessons! I saw so much and I have to say... I´m happy to be woman here in Finland. I dont need to go to barricades for my rights...I have all rights that I want. As a woman. What I saw back there... you know, can be harder. 

Now? I´m at home. I found my place in this world and I have family again. 
For me, that thing...I can be softer... I can pamper myself and be interesting about fashion and make ups again.... that´s for me is my freedom. I dont need to be tough, I can choose. I can say to my man: help. I can´t do this or that. I feel bad. My hormones makes me crazy. I want this new sofa. You know, be softer. 

In these days that´s my power. Inside there will be always that girl from first picture, who just wants to get dirty and play. But woman has arrived too.... I want to pamper more. I want to be silly. 

And by that I DONT  mean, that it is what woman has to do or being woman is. No...we are strong and can do what ever we want. 

But for me.... that´s a new thing. That´s a  luxury that could not afforded to be since I was a kid. I just had to be too strong. Now I can let go and enjoy the ride. 


Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about being a woman funnyKuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about being a woman funny                                                         
Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about being a woman funny


Be your kind of woman, then you will be happier...Forget the rest.

xox

tiistai 26. huhtikuuta 2016

coffee- freak´s tip

Wow, great spring day!!! Not so cold today, and less snow....


Ok, there a change that I was a bit ironic... 

Coffee!! I´m such a coffee- freak! For me that black liquid is more that caffeine. It is the elixir or life! Also those moments, when I drink it. I try to make those moments my kind, how I feel at that moment. Today I felt like going to gas station, Teboil. In here is  one small, but cozy place and there I can be with my thoughts. Now was need for that... 



All I needed in that moment. 


There´s huge difference in coffees. One place it tastes like tea, another is so strong (witch I like). And as many there are coffee- types, there´s drinkers. Everyone has their own taste. I love it strong and black. My man more dilute. With sugar and milk. 

We have two coffee machine: one is for beans and other is Mocca Master, for "normal" coffee. 

That machine for beans makes so good coffee from beans, but normal..well..it´s not too good. But Mocca Master makes better normal coffee, so that why.. sounds crazy? Well.. I just love my coffee ;).



Easy to use. 
Huge noise:D.

When I was in USA, in Sierra Vista, there was this awesome coffee place in local mall. I didnt understand a thing about how can you really get your coffee!!! One million variation! So, I stood there and said: surprise me. I got such a sweet and good coffee. I still dont know, what was in there. But it was good. Also, in stores there  was (still is) milk to coffee, with flavor. Vanilla, chocolate..what ever you want. I bought one and tried, wow!!! Good for dessert! My hands came so sticky, because it was soooo sweet... once a day, max. 

At home, I love to try different things with coffee. Add some flavor by myself. One can put so much to filter paper and make awesome flavors. Also...there´s a places (almost every store) that you can buy these things ready.

But I want more. One of my favorites is orange coffee. Take one orange shell and shred it. 


How much depends how much you want that flavor. I want lot´s of it. I mean, if I make flavor coffee...there has to be flavor, too!

Now. You can add it to filter or: put straight to cup. Yes there´s gonna be those shells in your mouth, but if you like orange, that´s not too bad. Or sift it with tea strainer.
I use those two methods, because my man dosent really like flavors in his coffee....I respect that. 

But this is a easy way to do orange coffee. If you want, add sugar or vanilla and boom: new taste again. Add what ever you desire!!! Only sky is the limit...really.

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about coffee freaks



My morning- coffee buddy. Nice! These are those precious moments.

xox





maanantai 25. huhtikuuta 2016

one more time: new lipstick

Ok, I found, again, new lipstick. I mean, I have pink, red, orange so I did needed natural, too? Of course. Those colors don´t fit with everything.

I actually wanted to write, what I have done in our garden, but..oh well. Next time.

I have to admit, that Kim Kardashian´s has some things in her make up, that I like. I used contouring in 90´s, we just called it painting :D. But even thought she has a lot of make up.. highlight´s are awesome. Lips and skin. Yep, lot´s of layers in that make style. But smooth-looking skin is beautiful, with pretty lips.

Now, there was my inspiration to buy nude lipstick.

I bought Gosh Velvet touch matt lipstick, color matt baby lips. Even by it self it´s great. I put some liner and gloss here in these pictures. And yes of course(not) I hang in home with sunglasses. I just wanted to be cool ;) (No make up and looking tired). It´s the attitude, right?

But here, me and Gosh:
(Gloss: we care icon)




 Keeping that attitude...rock on!

 Me and my twin???


Cool...

Ok, with better foundation that "color" would shown better. 

 But about that lipstick: it it smooth, gives moisture to lips and stays good time. It was 11.90€ from Sokos and totally worth every Euro. 


This is why I don´t write about decor....4 cat´s and 2 dogs makes it impossible. Trust me, when I opened that closet.... I almost..piss3d my pants. Woah, not too easy always.

xox



sunnuntai 24. huhtikuuta 2016

Difference between me and my man in shopping

Someone could say, that there´s a huge difference between man and woman, when shopping. For us? No, it´s just a matter of product.

We usually go stores like Citymarket, Prisma etc to buy food. We are not too exiting about that, it´s more like: ok, something that we have to do.

Then, if there´s a need to fix a car or home, we go to Tokmanni or Hongkong. You know, where´s everything and more.
We usually skip those clothes in every place because..I dont know, we have our own places to buy those. And I dont like to be in store, where music is so loud..

But. When we enter to shop, where they sell screws and nuts... my man´s eyes are starting to burn. Oh my..you see that machine? Or that drill? Wow...there´s a whole wall dedicated to screws and nuts!!! Wow!!!
And then I´m sitting somewhere looking so bored. Really, he´s like a child in candy store. I´m like: yes, so great. Can you please hurry?? Those are, after all just some nut´s.....really.
He can be there like one hour. For me, too long.

But then I see Sokos Emotion. Oh, those lights and that scent! There´s cosmetic over there....let´s go and see! I´m in heaven.
I love stores, that give´s me some sent of luxury. In Emotion I get just that.
Those bottles, in beautiful stands... and that quiet sound of talking about those. Oh...do you see that? That´s a new....in that point my man´s look is the very same that I have in screws and nut´s- shop. Please hurry?? Those are, after all...bottles.

I try to understand my man now, when we go shopping. I try to be patient. But when I need to go to Sokos Emotion...I go alone. :D I just need my moment with those bottles....


Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about shopping cosmetic funny



xox



lauantai 23. huhtikuuta 2016

I fell in love with NYX

I have played with make up for 2 days now. I tried how I do look with (almost) full make up on. It really has been too long since last time.

Well, here´s some results! This is me having fun, so pictures are looking like it ;) :



And oh my gosh...I look weird :D My man asked: where´s Maarit? :D


And one without:


But that NYX. For me lipstick is definitely that umber one thing to use. If I´m in hurry (usually am) or just lazy (that too) lipstick is the easiest way to fresh your look. As I think that, it has been always lipstick. 
Some days ago I started to think: orange lipstick. I remember one orange from -90s that I used. It was YSL awesome color and lipstick. 

I really, really wanted that color now, and woops, so easy to to Sokos online shop. I thought, that I dont want to pay too much, because there´s so many colors still to want. I saw this new line in Finland, NYX. The price was good for me (8.50€) and it sounded good, butter lipstick. 

Yesterday that precious came to me and I fell in love. It it, by far, best price / performance ratio. That lipstick has be in my lips now several hours and still looking good, soft. With moisture. So..it´s good. Really.



Love, love love that!!!!!

And how it looks on me?



I think, that I "have to" buy more NYX in future... 



Nails too! More orange, please.... I have used lot´s of we care icon´s nail polish, it´s a good price and good size. So again..I can buy more colors and I dont have to throw away, because getting old. 


Those two, good together.



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