I can´t remember when I have eaten chocolate cookies! First, diet, but even bigger reason: always nut´s in some form. Or, made in factory where nuts are handled. Allergic to those suckers....
But I have balloon!!! We went to store yesterday and I saw this cute red Minnie- balloon. last time, when I have had that kind of balloon was when I was a kid and my dad bought to me. After that "too old". Now, maybe I´m going back on time already and become a child again? :D Yep, thinking my birthday in this month...45years... omg.....
Me and Minnie :)
In Finnish too: Hyvää Vappua kaikki! Happy first of May all!
Then back to that subject, self- esteem and dressing up. Or wearing clothes.
Few year ago, or should I say, all of my life, I have been a very bold dresser. I use to put such a things together that no one could ever imagine! And those actually looked good. That was in 90´s my signature and my ticket ti be VIP in night clubs. It did opened some door to other places, too.
But I lost it. I lost that feeling, when I gained my kilos. I did.... I mean, I shoulnt but I did. Because no matter what your size is..you look awesome. But for me? It did mentally- thing:
I drew that with my phone, so...
But that was, how I saw myself. Fat balloon, and no right to dress up.
Sad but true. And worst part was..it was in my head, I made that thought.
I was so jealous to all fashion bloggers (sorry about that) because they looked so good in every pic. And I knew, that I had that same passion, but... I´m not worth it anyway...
Because I wasnt happy with me, I started to work about that. Loosing weight. I have to say, that I´m more me now, not yet where I want to be but in a good road to be there one day. Now it feels real already!
I have become a bit bolder to put some of those clothes on, what I want. Still kind of shy, but hey! Getting there too one day! To me, dressing up is telling something about me. Sometimes you know, what mood I am (just sweat pants all day- cozy OR pissed off) It´s like expressing my self somehow.
Another "mistake" I made earlier was.. I wasnt true to me. I tried to be like someone else. But fact ti...I´m gonna be that rock- chick till the day I die. Rebel, maybe. I dont like those things, where someone says: you cant use those, you so old! I really feel so in my heart. I think that I´m gonna use my leather skirt when I´m in old people´s home.
Yesterday I put my new jeans on and also my leather jacket..witch I do love....
So..not too rocking picks, but I´m learning to know me again. This is good therapy for me, and no.. not looking to have latest look here. Just me, learning to be me again. :)
Putting my picks here is reality for me, how I look. Step by step!
If it shines and is silvery.... I love it. I´m magpie!!!!
I love, that jeans has some thing...broken, 70´s..bootcut..
This is a start. :)
Ps. ALL of my clothes here...wow...from H&M. I think that I´m a fan?? :D